Tuesday, July 7, 2015

So why only one charge?

I'm sure you've already seen it but in case you haven't video evidence has come up of Florida State University quarterback De'Andre Johnson getting into an argument with a woman at a bar.

After the two bumped into each other they exchanged words and those words culminated in the woman punching Johnson after which Johnson punched her back.

Now of course violence is wrong and we should avoid it when possible. But this is not a perfect world so it does happen.

With that in mind I don't support violence but at the same time I can't help but notice the resulting outcome.

Johnson has been charged with battery, indefinitely suspended from the football team and according to his attorney, "He is currently participating in community service, and faith-based programs focused on battered women, substance abuse, and the empowerment of children.". 

The woman.......yeah.......

There is no question that Johnson played a part in this and has to be held accountable and responsible for the role he played and he certainly went overboard in his response. However my questions are the same.

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent only the man is held responsible?

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent the story is almost always retold as "man hits woman"?

If "violence is wrong, no matter the gender" as people say then why is it when a man and woman are mutually violent the woman is treated as a totally innocent victim?

Spare me the attempts at saying I support violence against women because I don't. What I want to know is if violence is bad all about why is it that only men are held responsible for it.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Burying it deeper and deeper...

So Axe deodorant appears to be at it again.

If you've ever seen an ad for Axe then you've most likely seen a desperate appeal to traditional masculinity. You know the "you're only it for sex with women" motivation that seems to be the only reason a man would clean his body type of masculinity. Convince boys and men that if they hope to have any sort of sexual contact with women they must buy Axe products.

Well there was that one time during the 2014 Super Bowl but that is a distant memory it seems.

This time they have released an ad with a picture of a woman trying on bikinis with a guy sitting in a chair with brown hair and two blonde braids with the caption:
"If you help her choose the clothes someone else will tear, she's seeing you with braids"
At the bottom there's the line, "Stop being a friend and start being a man." and there is even a www.menwithbraids.com.mx (thankfully its not an actual site) URL.

Its 2015 and we still have companies selling products to men on the premise of it getting them sexual attention with women?

Its 2015 and we still believe that a male has to be either a man or a friend to women?

Its 2015 and we still tell a guy that if he isn't trying to get with a woman, he is a woman?
This is all wrong. This is the kind of stuff that supports that nasty mentality that if a guy acts a certain way and uses certain products he will be romantically successful and to do otherwise means to be a failure at manhood.

That kind of thinking leads to pain. Pain for everyone involved but mainly for the guys that will be led astray by it.

Methods of advertising that depends on old and dangerous gender roles need to die.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Domestic Violence Pop Quiz

1. When the video of Ray Rice knocking Janay out was made public what was your initial reaction?

Most people expressed outrage and precious few tried to say he was justified.

2. Ray J's girlfriend, Princess Love, has been arrested for allegedly beating him so badly she cracked three ribs and tore his ACL. What's your initial reaction?

Are you upset that a man was beaten up by his lover?

Are you upset that a woman committed an act of violence against her lover?

Are you wanting to know what Ray J was doing (in hopes of figuring out "what did he to do make her attack him")?

Are you ready to call for whatever company or industry she works in to kick her out on butt?

I think it goes without saying that if she did attack him she needs to be held responsible for her actions and needs to learn not to be so violent and most importantly Ray J needs whatever help he can get to make sure this doesn't happen again.

But more importantly, what was your first thought after reading about this?

Sound off in the comments!

(Also tip of my Fro to Mark Greene)

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I Went to a Party Mom

I'm sure a lot of you are ready to go out and get crazy for New Year's Eve. It's fine to get crazy but be sure not to get too crazy. I would be so happy if there was no death or injury this New Year's. I found this poem a few days years ago in a local paper and it serves as a grim reminder of the damage one can do when they get reckless when drinking and driving.

I Went to a Party Mom

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn’t drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I’d get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road, the other car didn’t see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say, the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I’m the one who will pay.

I’m lying her dying, Mom…I wish you’d get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom?

My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say, Mom, I’ll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn’t drink.

It was the other, Mom. The others didn’t think.

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I’m felling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don’t think it’s fair.

I’m lying here dying and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom, Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.

I’m becoming very scared.

Please don’t cry for me, Mom.

When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.

I didn’t drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

Author Unknown

Remember folks. Drink with conviction. Drink with caution. Drink with safety. Drink with responsibility.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

So it was the weight rather than the choke hold?

By now I'm sure you have seen or heard about Eric Garner being choked to death by an NYPD officer back in July. At the start of the confontation there are 2 cops confronting Eric when a third starts choking him from behind. By the end there are 7 cops on the scene plus an 8th that's doing crowd control. There has been a lot of outrage over the decision to not indict the officer that choked him and it seems that there are people in high places that concur.

New York Republican Representative Peter King has looked this over and is apparently in agreement with there being no indictment against the officer and thinks that the reason Garner died was because he was overweight.

This man is honestly saying that his weight is why he died. Not the choke hold. Not the fact that the cops dog piled him to the ground. Not the fact that his face was mashed into the concrete.

I feel like going on a massive rant about how this is fat shaming but I think there's more at work.

I think those in power are running out of excuses.

Running out of excuses to allow such blatant acts of police brutality to continue.

With the decision not to indict the officer who killed Michael Brown (I won't declare former officer Wilson guilty but I do think there are enough inconsistencies to warrant a full trial) race is an extremely hot topic right now. King knows this and is quick to try to remove race from the issue

Notice how he repeatedly states that race had nothing to do with it. He says if it were a fat white guy it would have turned out the same. He mentions that the superior officer at the scene was a black woman. He mentions that minority community members came to the police asking them to do something about Garner selling individual cigarettes outside their businesses.

Absolutely none of that was reason to choke him and mash his face to the ground until he died. Run him off? Sure. Arrest? Go ahead. But kill?

King even tries to say that "if you can't breathe, you can't talk". Did he not notice that Garner's voice was getting progressively weaker as he pleaded for air? Not sure what part of biology he missed but its entirely possible to speak when you're losing air. Your voice will be weak and you won't be able to talk too loud but you'll be able to speak for a moment. I don't know maybe he was expecting him to stay quiet and conserve air. Suffer in silence.

I'm pretty much convinced that he was caught between a rock and a hard place where he needed to both excuse the behavior of the cops and avoid accusations of racism.

Now it is entirely possible that race had nothing to do with this killing. Even if it isn't there are way too many of these killings happening (each word is a link to a different shooting).

Even though police exist to maintain order, to do that there must be "order". And by "order" I mean that the police can't afford too much bad publicity or the people they have sworn to protect and serve will lose faith.

Just look at Ferguson, Missouri. After the decision to not indict was made there has been protest, property damage, and bodily harm. The NYPD can't let that happen in their neck of the woods so its in their best interests to let the death of Eric Garner go unquestioned.

I'm just wondering how long more events like Ferguson can be held off.